My Family Photo Album

Insanely jealous over an article I read about the Jukes family and unable to reach my analyst, who had parlayed my fees into a round-the-world cruise, I recently found a need to research my own relatives' past in order to prove the natural superiority of the Aliens' degeneracy. I scurried to the nearest genealogist, who managed, with great effort, to trace my provenance back to a farmer named Ezekiel and a sheep (who shall remain nameless) and who then laid a bill on me that could finance the building of an aircraft carrier. Dejected, dissatisfied and considerably poorer, I went, home and brooded. Then, as luck would have it, I was rummaging through the attic of my palatial mansion in Secaueus, New Jersey, in an effort to find a spot to do it to the maid, when I came across a number of pictures--several of them in focus--of my progenitors and quickly assembled them in this album. While not complete, the album does provide rare glimpses of some of the more sensationally sere branches of the Allen tree and can also be used as a cretin's Who's Who, or as a smart-ass' Who's Whom.