Playboy's Christmas Cards

December, 1955

Gift Card to a very Close Friend

The gift they tell us to despise:

It is the thought that we should prize.

A noble rule, if rather sentimental.

With this in mind, your gift, my dear,

Will not be shares of stock this year,

But just a little Lincoln Continental.

Gentle Hint to the Girl Next Door

Like a Tom without the Jerry,

Or like holly minus berry,

Like Adeste sans Fideles

Is the sprig above my trellis.

Since my domicile with women is accoutered rather sparsely,

This old mistletoe, for all the good it's doing, might be parsley.

To a Costly kept Lady

Although with gifts your sleigh is brimming,

Pur-

chased

newly,

Remember, it's the tree you're trimming,

Not

yours

truly.

To a Girl named Tess

(Because no other name would rhyme)

Goliath, he his David had,

J. Caesar had his Brutus,

Jack Palance had his Alan Ladd,

A brother foul had Hamlet's dad:

By Christmas I will feel quite sad

If I have not had you, Tess.

Gift Card to an Old Buddy

That necktie with the naked girl

Hand-painted on it sure is nifty:

Thanks! I'd be a graceless churl

To not admire so fine a giftie.

In fulfilling Yuletide duty,

I consider it an honor

To give you a naked cutie

With a necktie painted on her.