Our Feathered Friends

(Pedalis Dragionis Rookiensis)

Male, plumage tends towards uniformity, commonly observed in flocks of nine, found in major flocks early in Spring, migrates to minors as season progresses.

Call: All mine!

(Easihadiensis Communita Chesta)

Female, friendly bird, plumage gaudy, inclined to molt completely at slightest suggestion, migrates along bars greater U.S.

Call: Yes! Yes! Yes!

(Antifunus, Antisnortus, Antiomnium)

Male, form spare and gaunt, plumage dark, funeral, elongated beak area, holds great antipathy toward any form of relaxation, serves as mascot of W.C.T.U., gloomy bird.

Call: Sinner! Sinner!

(Spousiosis Dominorum)

Female, generally mated to much smaller bird, domineering, given to emitting loud squawks when commands are not obeyed instantly.

Call: Where are your rubbers?

(Cocktailis Loopendensis Plasteridis)

Male, plumage generally in disarray, "eye" area bloodshot, voice muffled and indistinct, flight unsteady and confused.

Call: Wha' shay?

Out to Lunch!

(Frolicus Furtivus)

Male and female, always found in pairs if visible, inclined to mate often, co-habit in cottage camps, hotels, also nest of Hardworking Cuckold, migration abrupt under certain circumstances.

Call: Quick! Get in the closet!

The Flat-Footed Flycatcher

The Full-Breasted Pushover

The Blue-Nosed Killjoy

The Red-Headed Henpecker

The Marinated Heron

The Extra-Marital Lark